It is Monday morning and I am struck yet again by my thoughts of why I am not thrilled to go to work. Could it be that I don't like the work, or I don't like the person I think I have to be when I am at work? Maybe a bit of both...
I hosted another experiential Way of the Horse workshop this weekend. The people and the work were both such a joy, which is interesting, because we were working, emotions were revealed and validated, concrete actions and behaviors observed and decided upon, AND all of us were 'giving up' our weekend, yet I felt completely rejuvenated. Where does this energy come from? Why is it so different than what I felt during the week with all of my corporate consulting and coaching?
A hauntingly familiar answer came to me when I asked one of the participants at the end of the day yesterday, a professional woman from a big pharma, what she found the most valuable from her experience with the horses. She stated simply that it was the quiet peacefulness. She wanted to feel like this more often, what she felt was her authentic way of being, while she transitioned into her 'real' work during the week. Her assumption is that she can't be the same person in both places.
I share the same assumption. As I travel through life, one transition to the next--from day to day, decade to decade, job to job, I realize that I think the transition is bigger and more extreme than it has to be. That I have to be someone completely different to match the situation. Some people may find this creative, I find it exhausting.
Each time I work with the horses, I realize that the art of living in the present is so subtle, it is almost a whisper. When I am with them, I don't need to yell and push my weight around, it doesn't get me what I want or it is fruitless. I begin to whisper and practice living in subtlies....and this takes so much less energy for such an enormous return.
So, as I once again transition from weekend to Monday morning, I will see how long it takes me to go from subtle to heavy handed as I watch myself spin from the me I enjoy to the me I see as as the necessary stranger. I'll let you know if I am making any progress. How long does it take for you?
Comments (4)
Lisa, your comments about whispering versus being heavy-handed really struck a chord with me. You find your peace from being with horses. I find mine in music. But it is so hard to hang onto that inner quiet and sense of just being in the present moment. The minute I get into a committee meeting or have a task to do, I lose that sense of connection so quickly. I used to light a candle in my office and have a water fountain running. That helped. I think I need to start doing that again.
Posted by Judi Neal | August 27, 2007 1:29 PM
Posted on August 27, 2007 13:29
Wow, that really struck a chord with me. I sometimes see my personal evolution as the coming together and integration of what I do, who I am, and all my talents and "selves." There is a way to be that real person in the work--I've been there; but how to cultiivate that and establish that as the norm--that I haven't figured out yet.
Posted by Paul | August 28, 2007 1:13 PM
Posted on August 28, 2007 13:13
One of the things I learned during my artist residency this summer was that I do have many selves, or facets and they sometimes seem so opposing. However, my challenge this year is to embrace all of them, accept them. I am happy to hear other's challenges in this realm!
Posted by Susan Foss | August 28, 2007 5:08 PM
Posted on August 28, 2007 17:08
Greetings everyone,
Thank you Lisa for inviting me to your blog. It it a pleasure to be here.
As I understand it being able to recognize your self is the beginning of awakening.
Judging ourselves is what makes everything seem very hard and hopeless, and this gets us stuck- we lose our energy and lose sight of our (authentic) selves. That is why you get tired
Use what you observe as a vehicle to get to know your true self. Forgive your self for what you observe instead of beating yourself up and go back to what you have learned.
When you feel you have left your path- let this understanding be a bell of mindfulness- a call to drop this and get back to your path. Once you are centered again ( inside of yourself) we gain our energy back. That is why knowing how to breathe is important too.
This is the tantric path everything is used towards your awakening.
Don't give up- keep searching.
Milton Rivera
Posted by Milton Rivera | August 29, 2007 10:46 AM
Posted on August 29, 2007 10:46