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January 2008 Archives

January 17, 2008

Zen and the art of Not Pushing

A context for life and leadership.

The first in a series...
As I move into this new year, with not a great deal of energy as a result of last year, I realize that I want to experience life and work this year in a different way. In fact, not posting this blog since October is one of the manifestations of my lack of time and energy at the end of last year. I am ready to change that.

This may be easier said than done. Have you ever gotten out of the habit of something and then kept thinking you needed to get back into the habit of it but didn't? Then the guilt came. Then the denial. Then, viola!, You just don’t think about it anymore? Well, that is the case with my blog posting.

Then I had another thought, with the help of my partner, Paul Kwiecinski at Face The Music, http://www.facethemusicblues.com. I don't have to make it so hard. Not just posting this blog, anything and everything!

A series of blogs on Zen and the art of not pushing...A context for life and leadership is my solution to this situation, at least in the short term. These postings will be about how this context is manifesting in my life and, in turn, how that is adding value to my client's life.

Take last week for example. Feedback I got at the end of a 2 day leadership retreat with a corporate leadership team ranged from "thank you for meeting us where we are" to "you are the best meeting facilitator I have ever seen" to "we get so much work done with you it's unbelievable". The results in this strategic session were what they wanted AND they find them so valuable they have booked another 2-day in April and plan to do them quarterly.

I didn't ask for the feedback. Pretty amazing for not pushing.

What happened differently?


  • I didn't insist on my agenda--in fact I didn't do one at all.
  • I listened to them. Not just waiting to say something. I really listened.
  • I didn't feel like I had to DO something just to validate my presence.
  • I trusted that when I needed to add something, I would know and it would be the right thing at the right time.

I guess we will see what happens next. In the meantime, you might try not pushing. Scary, believe me I know. But I just don't have the energy for it anymore.

January 29, 2008

Zen and the art of Not Pushing Part 2

A context for life and leadership.

Interesting week. Two new clients, one in the area of Equine Assisted Coaching, http://www.coachingtoys.com my favorite thing to do, and one corporate transition coaching client who is moving to the next place in her career/life. Then there is one of my current clients with whom I have been working for years both in coaching and Organization Development, who has been offered a major promotion in his company. What an amazing feeling! I am always so happy to hear that people find value in the work we are doing together.

Let's get this straight...


  • I get to do what I love most and get paid for it.
  • Helping someone with their transition strengthens my journey through my own transition.
  • I actually get to see concrete results of a long-term coaching and consulting relationship.

How did this happen while 'not pushing'? This week's answer is ...

Qigong, the specific art of cultivating life energy, vitality and vigor.

All I can say is Milton Rivera. (gigonghealing@gmail.com). Milton is a healer with 18 years of study in the field. Born in El Salvador, he moved to the States at 19 and started studying the ancient art of Qigong. "I do more than break blockages," he says. "I teach people how to break them themselves."

Milton came down to do some work on me and several others in Wellington, FL this week. I was definitely in a different place as a result of this healing work. The connection to and healing of myself is a way for me to experience my deepest power. I believe this awareness extends to what is in my environment. That includes the clients that come to me as well as the ones with whom I am already in relationship. The next step is to become more established in it. Milton and Qigong are definitely in my future.

Keep in mind, as I certainly have to almost every day, that being clear about what you want, thinking strategically about it and having a plan are critical to establishing a foundation to attract abundance without a lot of pushing. Although this is what I coach and consult on, I can still get stuck in thinking that I have to press so hard in each of these areas and control it all. Qigong helps me to let go of it all, breathe and trust that I have done all I can for the moment. At least until the next time I feel the need to control...

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